My buddy, Gregor, woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Actually, not the side. The middle. He’s in a foul mood because he’s been transformed into a giant beetle.

Yeah, it’s kind of disgusting but these things happen. I’m trying to cheer him up and help him get past this little setback.

It’s not the worst thing that ever happened to him. I mean, Gregor is a salesman for god’s sake! What could be worse than that?

That’s why we drink. My job isn’t much better. So, yesterday, we got plastered and I woke up with a hangover and Gregor woke up…with his little problem.

Look on the bright side, buddy! It’s the weekend! No traveling. No selling. We can unwind. Maybe meet up with a few ladies.

Oh. Yeah. That.

Some women like insects. I mean, really. They’ll probably think it’s cute.

Hey, I’ve got an idea. Stand still. It’s a lucky break for you that Tony is a bit of an artist. Stay still while I’m doing this. Keep your limbs still. All six of them.

That’s nice shiny red paint, isn’t it? I’m not done yet. Here come the dots. Big black dots.

There. Now you look like a ladybug. A humongous ladybug. A ginormous…whatever.

Let’s get you out of bed and into the fresh air. I’ll give you a hand. Alley-oop! There ya’ go! Look at it out there. Have you ever seen such a beautiful day?

So, you’re a beetle. Hey, the most popular rock group of all time was the Beatles. Gregor, I’m feeling a bit jealous. Just a tiny bit.

Did you see that long-legged blond who just passed? She gave you a look like you wouldn’t believe! I think she likes you.

Gregor is still in a funk. He’s rolled over on his back, playing dead. His legs are flailing.

Gregor Sampson Loman! What’s gotten into you?

 

Stories Not A Bug. A Feature.